Hard to Expect
It is so hard to expect that one day your crush will fall for you too. Correct?
This month of February, I thought it was a good start. I thought I had the chance to be close with him. I thought we could have some good memories. I thought we could be friends at least but I was so wrong.
January, the fresh Winter Semester started. Looking around, new people in your new classes. Fancy people, cool girls, nice guys, hot guys, and a new crush among all them. Time went on. Of course, I was that kind of person who wanted to do everything perfectly. Done with my assignments, good marks on all my quizzes, tests and any other graded papers. The typical me!
So how does this "hard to expect" happened?
Oh well, expect the unexpected. I had him in one of my classes. I found him so cute as I saw his face smiling and/or his serious face during class discussions but that was only for few weeks. And in this class, we had given a project, a team project. The professor picked the people in each team. There you go! He was on my team. I was so shy as sense thinking that Oh My God! My crush was on my team. What should I do then? How will I work then without him noticing that I had a crush on him. So I was trying to pretend to be so normal! So simple yet pretty every time. :)
In this team project, we were asked to have a meeting outside class for "getting-to-know-me" session. We had to meet up just to have a simple talk with regards to ourselves. Monday was decided for that meet up. I was still sick that time but then still I went. Straightened my hair trying to be so energetic and trying to have an informative meeting. I thought it was a success. The team had a short yet a great talk I should say. I was able to talk nicely, trying to overcome my fear talking in front of my crush. I was just being casual!!!
A night before our class,he messaged me about the reflection that we had to hand in as a team. He told me that he was willing to make one. Wow, he seemed to be nice and responsible. So that moment, I was expecting that he noticed me not just a team mate because he only sent me message. How did I know? Of course, I asked what the others said. He said he only message me. Well, I was assuming! Can't I? He was my crush, why not.
One class before the Valentines, I worked with him. I thought that was fun and still going to be a nice team for the rest of us. The following week was our test, no conversation only test. After that, I didn't see him. Now, I just found out when one of our team mates message me saying that she got a message from him dropping the course. Well, he supposed to be our team leader and now, he left us...
He left us for personal reasons.
I do understand it, but dropping your class knowing that you had accepted the responsibility of being the leader. It was so upsetting. I was so sad about him leaving the team. I won't be able to see him again in my class. So upset? Because I could only see him in that class. I won't see him around. :"(
I think I am the only one who was upset about it. Well, I think I had the only reason. He was the leader and I supposed to be his assistant. I could still remember how we decided to have a leader and how I became the assistant. It was so fun for me.
Now, I've decided to continue the team project without him and I wanted to make this team project one of the bests.
He may not know that in a short period of time, I came to like him but I can still like someone else. Just that I should never start assuming and expecting.
Assuming and expecting can just lead me into a great disappointments. Same goes for my readers!!! Careful! It hurts still.
~true to life story and feelings~
